Sunday, July 15, 2012

6-13-2012 Ally here – Grandma is nuts!


Our bike ride to town the other day was fun.  I made sure I ate lots of things that give you quick energy so I’d be ready for the first 3 hour roll clinic.  We have another 3 hour clinic the day after tomorrow.  I hope I like this.   For those of you who don’t know what a roll clinic is, just know you don’t need to know unless you’re nuts!  Grandma goes a bit overboard when she tries new things and now she drags me along.  That can be risky.  She’s taken up kayaking.  She says she’ll stay on nice quiet lakes.  Then why does she need to learn how to roll a kayak completely around in the water and why do I need to join her?  She says it’s just for fun and that it will make us safer kayakers.   We have to survive this first!  Safe, I don't think so.
Things started off well.  At least we were in a heated pool at the rec center in Jackson.  Those kayaks look pretty cool but they sure are a whole lot smaller than the one we’ve been carrying around with us.
I like looking good and this spray skirt becomes me.  The only problem I have with it is that it seals me to one of those kayaks and that’s a bit scary.
This is fun.  I like staying on top of the water and that’s where I hope to stay.
We have to “rack up” together so we can all hear what’s coming next.   Grandma takes things very seriously.
That’s our new friend who wants to learn to roll, too.  She’s a lot of fun.  She also has the “crazy gene”.  I think there are a couple of those genes in our family tree and I sure hope I don’t have one.
This is “edging” my kayak.  I’m getting this.  It’s easy and it makes our kayaks turn really fast so we don’t get killed in a game of “Sharks and Minnows”.  Maybe this isn’t so bad after all.
Grandma can “edge” too but you can just hear those old hips a creakin’!
This is mass “edging” and you can tell Grandma is enjoying her second childhood with all her playmates.
Our second night of roll clinic things went downhill fast.  Did I say maybe this wasn’t so bad?  Wrong.  This is where the crazy comes in.  I’m learning how to set up, get to neutral, and sweep.   That means I’m about ready to go upside down.  I don’t like this.  Grandma thinks this is fun.  I told you she is nuts.
The hardest thing to do is to keep your head down when you do the hip snap to come up.  Your head is supposed to come up last.  Good luck with that.  It’s not easy and I sure am taking in a lot of water.  Next, I have to bite the shoulder of Pop’s neoprene shirt I’m wearing to help me keep my head down.  He’s going to love having teeth marks in his shirt.
Now, I’m learning to sweep.  I’ve had enough!  This stuff really is for people with the crazy gene and now I’m pretty sure I don’t have it.
I have one last practice of getting out of my kayak if I flip.  Forget the roll, I’ll just bail!  I can do that well.  All you have to do if you flip is T T T.  Tuck (forward), Tap (the side of your boat 3 times to let someone know you’re in trouble, and Tug (the “Oh crap strap” – that’s the one that releases the spray skirt – you can figure out why they call it that).  Then you’re out.  Now all you have to do is get all that water out of your kayak after your wet exit and that’s another story.  See all the cool stuff you get to do when you travel with Grandma.  Bet you want to come along.  Are you nuts?
Grandma keeps going.  She’s determined to get it.  Her head stays down half the time but the other half not so.  It stops your roll the minute the head comes up.  I’ve got news for her...it takes most people several clinics and lots of practice before they can do it.  Our instructor said it took him 2 years to get a good roll.  Who has that much time?  She sure doesn't!
Dream on, Grandma.  P.S.  Don’t sign me up for that next roll clinic.

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